Jill, my girlfriend and spiritual leader, asked me, "If we can make big chocolate cakes, why can’t we make Champaign?" That’s right! Why can’t we? I say we can.

I turn my back on people who say, "you can’t do that." I thumb my nose at people who tell me, "Sir, that’s for women", and I drop my pants and moon tyrants who claim "that’s illegal."

The last time some one told me that I couldn’t do something, do you know what I told them? I asked if I could at least watch.

No longer will the norms and mores or our oppressive society, rife with its left-turn-only –signs, restrict us. Who does it think it think it is, Mr. Oppressive Society? A bully, that’s who.

Next time you’re up at 6am, whacked out on Campari and Valium, don’t blame the liquor store because you can’t get a bottle of bubbly. Defy the naysayers and brew your own, and pass the barbs once more round.