Foy's stop by

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So so so Dani

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Dr. Lee stops by

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Swan Visit

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Dani Cam

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5:20am

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5am check in - pov from my cot

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Dr. Asnani says Dani is perfect!

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Recovery...let's do it again!

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Nana

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Dani sated

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Postpartum

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Ziba our delightful postpartum nurse

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The Eisenbergs

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Another Tiernan!

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To the nursery

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Dr. Suman - the big guns

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Jill and dani

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Jill and dani

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Dani

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It is now May 17th-a very good birthday

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One more round on the house

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Dr. Ioffe says we're ready

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Dr. Yoshii

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Akahavan Epidural saves the day

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Jill smiles through the pain.shell helps

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On the ball

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Grams

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Babies first hat awaits Dani

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The miracle of modern birth

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Gramps

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Mama and papa

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Our nurse karen

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Jello

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IMG00001.jpg

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Jill @ 7 Months Pregnant

Richard Prince Documentary

Richard Prince Documentary

http://www.vbs.tv/player.php?bctid=1213891072&bccl=MTIxMzg3NTEzMF9fRVRD

"Mess WIth The Bull You Get The Horns" Movie Quote

I just wanted to clear something up for everyone who has ever been challenged by which John Hughes movie uses the line "mess with the bull you get the horns".

A: BOTH "Some Kind Of Wonderful" and "Breakfast Club". The confusion, you see, is that Paul Gleason playing Vice Principal Vernon holds up his fingers in a bull horn shape and says "I've got you for two months" which may cause you to wonder if your memory is inaccurate...but it's not. He also said the bull and horns thing.

I guess John Hughes really loves this zinger, and can't help but use it across movies. There is plenty of president for the the practice: Woody Allen has a ton of one liners that migrate across movies, as does Mell Brooks - a "Walk this way" site gag shows up in "Young Frankenstein" and "History Of The World Part I". There are plenty of other examples - Shakespeare for example...he does it.

What Santa Can't Say - Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me

Peter Sagal is a very funny man, and his panel of comedians on "Wait Wait...Don't Tell" are always a laugh riot, but this weekend the gang surpassed themselves when Paula Poundstone had to think of what Santa can't say anymore - according to one Santa placement company in Australia.

Click here to listen, and laugh.

AMA: Soulja Boy

Jimmy Kimmel doing the Soulja Boy dance...awesome

Unfunny Assult

I am not funny but I created this blog, so now it's your problem.

Boy With Amazing Brian

This is truly amazing. Listen to how this guy experiences number.

Bullshit Polls from The Onion

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Man That Sells Tea On Melrose

Happy Jill

Jill on October 4th...13 days to 30.

People I Know

Heat Wave

Jill melts during a heat wave in LA.

artisan in paso robles

Train Songs

By: Ben Tiernan

I spent the better part of this morning on itunes creating a playlist of songs about trains. I think it was time well spent. Here's what I came up with...

Love Train 2:58 The O'Jays
Crazy Train 4:50 Ozzy Osbourne
Night Train 3:31 James Brown
Train, Train 3:34 Blackfoot
Midnight Train to Georgia 4:39 Gladys Knight & The Pips
Peace Train 4:14 Cat Stevens
Folsom Prison Blues 2.48 Johnny Cash
Old Train 2:23 Original Seldom Scene
Dry the Rain 6:05 The Beta Band The Three EP's


Rain rhymes with train.

Not a bad bunch of music. I guess writing songs about trains brings out the highest level of creative integrity - probably because of the august history of the train song. It's like writing a sonnet, or an epic.

Reflexive Chick Lit

By: Ben Tiernan

Young woman trying to balance love, relationships, and her career in the big city reading about a young woman trying to balance love, relationships, and her career in the big city.

My Shoes

My shoes are awesome.

Dim Sum and then Sum

By: Ben Tiernan

Tonight I made a fusion dinner of sorts.

First we had some nice dumplings...pork dumplings, and fried shrimp dumplings. I bought those in Alhambra, so that's Chinese.

Then, for the main course, I made an assortment of sausage and pickles. I had Italian pork sausage, rosemary lamb sausage, tarragon chicken sausage. Many many sausage. I also had dill pickles, sour kraut, and caramelized onions. With a splash of mustard, that felt German.

Viola! my Chinese/German dinner. Bon Apetit.

My Soap

By: Ben Tiernan

I just noticed how fantastic the advertising claims are on my cleansing products.

My facial soap claims to use "Botanical Kinetics" which I think is impossible.

Even less likely is that my shampoo lives up to its claim of having "0 Calories". That's right! My shampoo is not fattening.

My name is Ben Tiernan, and I'm an ad man.

Matt @ Piatti

Jill + Seals

Playing The Ponies

In Del Mar...lost $12.

Rock Heals (Re-Purposed: Apr. '04)

By: Jedd Davis

Jedd Davis wasn't feeling well when he went to a Breeders concert. Here's how he returned:

I woke up this morning after only a few hours of sleep with a headache and ringing ears. Rock heals, you ask? Yes. I no longer have the sore throat that prohibited me from swallowing for 4 days, and as a bonus, my nose is no longer a sputum spewing spigot.

It just goes to show you that mind and body really are connected. If when you get sick, you mope around and complain to others about how terrible you feel (which is what I usually do), stop doing that. Go do something that "well" people do, or even better, over-do it.

Live music makes you feel good. It scares the sick away with its fuck-offnes and showmanship.

So there you have it, my cure for the common cold. Live rock followed by a tin car before bed (that's Jack - with a splash of codeine cough syrup - over ice)

tin car. Rockin' it.

Dan Ho making law.

Dan Ho making law.

Craigs List Shopping (Re-Purposed: Dec. '07)

Jedd Davis found this post on Craigslist while searching for a Danish Modern table. He thought it smacked of tin car appeal.

I'm so mystified by the people who sell their crap on Craigslist. A few thoughts:

1) If I'm shopping for furniture on Craigslist, what is more likely?

A) I am incredibly wealthy and enjoy spending thousands of dollars on secondhand designer couches custom made for someone else.

B) I make 32k a year, drive a 14-year-old car, and just want to find a kitchen table that isn't covered in chicken blood. (HINT: THIS IS THE ANSWER.)

2) If you bought something new, and you're selling it, that means that
whatever you're selling is USED. Used things are worth LESS than new things. Not more! I know this is hard to grasp, so here's an example:

You bought a coffee table at Ikea for twenty dollars last year. You decide to sell it on Craigslist. Do not charge fifty bucks for it. We all recognize Ikea furniture. We know how much you paid for it. Used is not the same as antique. Most furniture, and especially Ikea furniture, does not increase in value.

Listen, you have had sex and eaten takeout and maybe even had an "accident" on that bed you're selling. If I wanted to pay four hundred dollars for a bed, I would get a new one, minus the sperm and urine.

3) Pictures. People are not going to drive out to Woodland Hills only to discover that your "Danish Modern" cabinet is actually from 1981.

4) Speaking of Danish Modern! Please, stop abusing the term. Danes everywhere roll in their graves in horror.

5) An antique is something that is over a hundred years old. Think about that for a minute. Is your 1971 bookcase an antique? No. No, it's not.

6) It's "wrought" iron, not "rod" iron.

Best of luck, furniture people. Keep the faith! The hundred-dollar bedframe of your dreams is out there somewhere, I promise.

this is in or around Dreamland

Letter To The East Coast (Re-Purposed: Apr. '04)

By: Ben Tiernan

Listen Dickheads,

You need to get over yourselves and accept that the West Coast is better than the East Coast. I’m sick of your snotty condemnation of my coastline. It’s rude, clichéd and ugly – like your mom.

The West Coast has no culture?

You, in your L.L. Bean - fuck you. We’ve got Hollywood. We make culture.

We’ve got technology. We make the media that proliferates culture.

The Ivy League is for pansies. Try Stanford. Try Berkeley; George Bush wouldn’t have lasted a week.

We can play your game. Can you play ours? The weather is unreal, everyone is beautiful, and the governor of California fights aliens, and wins.

Figure it out, jerks. The action is in the West.

"Thriller" As Inerpreted By A Filipino Prison

'Nuf said

Baseball Chatter

By: Ben Tiernan

I went to a Dodgers game yesterday and it was a blast, but when it comes to baseball and most sports I'm always a little ignorant of the rules. I know that chatter is an important part of the game and that banter from the fans is important.

As a fan in the bleacher within ear shot of the field you can say the players names with funny emphasis. For example, when yelling at Nomar Garciaparra you can say, "NOOOOOO-mar", or you can say it fast and shrill "nomar!" People tend to stay away from Garciaparra - I guess it's funny enough already.

You can also taunt the opposing team members about their stats. You can say, "Hey Sariano, you suck!"

I was not familiar with the various players records, so I kept my taunts to a topic within my general area of knowlege. I taunted Jacque Jones from the Cubs about his pants. Our seats where just behind right field, or left field - who can tell? - from which I joined in the jeering with my own brand of chatter.

Hey, Jones! Where'd you get those pants?
Hey, Jones! How much did you pay for those pants?
Hey, Jacque! Nice pants!

When the tide turned and The Dodgers took the league, I turned up the volume on my barbs.

Hey, Jones! How your pants now?

When the little boy in front of me turned to his father and asked, "Why's he talking about his pants?" I knew my work was done.